That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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