I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
