he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
