Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
