I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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