so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
