Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
