where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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