atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
These tits shall not be calmed
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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