No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
