My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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