D3 body, D1 cock
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
