Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
