How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
