So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
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I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
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I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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