Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize