As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
