someone threw a dead crab at me
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
