Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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