I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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