I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
