I will die if light touches me.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
