I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
