break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
