i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
