i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
