He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
