You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize