I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
