im about as happy as oj after his trial
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
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I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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