i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
