please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
is it fun? or sober?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize