its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's shark week go big or go home
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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