I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
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