the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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