return my video game
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
