Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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