p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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