So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
