you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
