I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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