just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
