stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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