READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
