IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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