fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
