i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
