who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
