Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
