i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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