i don't like sucking hair
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
there is glitter all over my balls
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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