Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
