Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
