I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I don't think brook has ever known best
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
