OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
