I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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