Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize