You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
