You can't special order awesome
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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