It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
