I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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