my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
