I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
