Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
